YOU MIGHT BE FROM NEW MEXICO IF ...

Yeah, these are a little tired and what not, but it makes me laugh. Cinco cero cinco en la casa, y'all.

You can correctly pronounce Tesuque, Cerrillos, and Pojoaque.

Your next door neighbor has a sweat lodge in her back yard.

You have been told by at least one out-of-state vendor that they are going to charge you extra for "international" shipping.

You expect to pay more if your house is made of mud.

You can order your Big Mac with green chile.

You buy salsa by the half-gallon.

You are still using the paper license tag that came with your car five years ago.

Your Christmas decorations include "a yard of sand and 200 paper bags."

Most restaurants you go to begin with "El" or "Los."

You hated Texans until the Californians moved in.

The tires on your roof have more tread than the ones on your car.

You price shop for tortillas.

You have an extra freezer just for green Chile.

You think a red light is merely a suggestion.

You believe that using a turn signal is a sign of weakness.

You think six tons of crushed rock makes a beautiful front lawn.

You ran for state legislature so you can speed legally.

You pass on the right because that's the fast-lane.

You have read a book while driving from Albuquerque to Santa Fe.

You know they don't skate at the Ice House and the Newsstand doesn't sell newspapers.

You think Sadies was better when it was in the bowling alley.

There is a piece of a UFO displayed in your home.

You just got your fifth DWI and got elected to the state legislature in the same week.

Your swamp cooler got knocked off your roof by a dust devil.

You have been on TV more than three times telling about your alien abduction.

You can actually hear the Taos hum.

All your out-of-state friends and relatives visit in October.

You think LasVegas is a town in the northeastern part of the state.

You iron your jeans to "dress up".

You don't see anything wrong with drive-up window liquor sales.

Your other vehicle is also a pick-up truck.

Two of your cousins are in Santa Fe, one in the legislature the other in the state pen.

You know the punch line to at least one Espanola joke.

You have driven to an Indian Casino at 3am because you were hungry.

You think the Lobos fight song is "Louie, Louie."

You know whether you want "red or green."

You're relieved when the pavement ends because the dirt road has fewer pot-holes.

You see nothing odd when, in the conversations of the people in line around you at the grocery store, every other word of each sentence alternates between Spanish and English.

You know you will run into at least 3 cousins while shopping at Sams, Wal-Mart, or the Price Club