I don't know why I chose that as a title, but it sounded good to me at the time. Anyway, I did returned from SD recently, and it was mondo nutso. SoCal and SD have been bad to me in the past, or at least dealt me some crappy cards at times, and this trip was no different. If nothing else at least it was consistent ...
The night began innocently enough. Thew and I boarded a plane in good ol' Oakland after a few preliminary Patron shots at the airport. The nice people on the Southwest flight were kind enough to sell us vodka during the flight, which got us further lubed. But, I should have seen imminent danger as soon as we touched down, because our cabby to the airport was a dick.
We got in the cab, and I'm making chit chat, little things, like "where you from?"; "how long you been driving a cab?" that sort of thing. Well, this fella was a surly sort from the outset, but I tried to ask him questions just to pass the time, small talk. That sort of thing. It's a friendly gesture, I believe. So, I ask the guy if he has a family, if he's married and he flips out with a "That's none of your business! I drive the cab!" Thew and I were a little shocked by his response, but I was certainly not about to piss the guy off and risk being stranded on the road to our hotel. This should have been a sign ...So we arrive at the hotel and it's very nice, the Hyatt Regency. I knew this was gonna be trouble because it was a little too nice for my rowdy crowd. Lo and behold, I'm a regular Cassandra. We go up to the room and begin the pre-party. At this point we were pretty tame, in my opinion. Just a few boys and their girls having fun.
After we had done our thing on the 7th floor for awhile we thought it best to head out. So out we headed. San Diego has great weather and is relatively flat, so there are little bike carts everywhere, willing to shuttle you around for a fee. There was a stand of these guys outside the hotel, and everyone piled in, but there weren't enough, stranding 3 of us on the curb. So what did I do? 
I found an empty bike cart, hopped on, told my 2 friends to get in, and I started pedalling. I get about 30 feet down the road and this pissed off man comes running down the sidewalk from behind me. I hop off the bike and pretend to play dumb, insisting that his biker friends (who at this point were about two blocks away) had allowed me to, nay, insisted, that I take his bike and follow them. He was not buying it, but he didn't call the cops, so we parted ways and my friends and I walked the 3 minutes to 4th and G in the gas lamp district.
Once in this area of town we started doing the bar and club thing. The first place we went to was under ground, and very dark. The music was good though, and there was a little area for dancing. I am not a dancer, per se, but I do enjoy watching my friends make fools of themselves (Thew, that's you, buddy).
After Bar #1, we went down the street to Bar #2, Faces. Faces was an awesome club (again under ground) which was having a dance hall reggae night. The place was Rasta to the max. All the dudes were rocking beards and dreads, and the scent of ganja permeated the air. Ladies were shaking their booties on the dance floor, and yet again Thew was prompted to show off his 'moves' to them. This time under the amused gaze of a 6'5" 250 lb. Jamaican boyfriend of one of the girls. Needless to say, given the size disparity between 1) Thew and the girl he was dancing with (5'7", 160 or so) and the 2) Thew and her boyfriend, the guy was more amused than anything else. Must've been quite a hoot for him to see his lady freaking a man just about her size.
After Faces was where things kind of fell apart. Luckily for me my friend Odas took us both back to the hotel (I had no idea where it was) and we promptly crashed out. The others in our party stayed out, and when they finally returned to the room they were quite wound up. Fast forward to 4AM in the morning and Wes being woken up by an irate fist on the door. "You've got 5 minutes to get out or we're calling the cops!" It was gang buster style, I tell ya! So we scrambled up, I tried to silver tongue the guy, but he was having none of it. Apparently he had been summoned twice before, and he was throwing us out.So out we were thrown, into the cold night air of San Diego (whale's vagina in German). We managed to scramble to a friend's house after an aborted Jack Bauer-esque attempt on my part to sneak into a Ramada Thew had rented.
Stay tuned, Part 2 coming up ...
