We Don't Know Each Other, Do We?

Today I had the particular pleasure of speaking to an attorney in the lovely state of Virginia. He answered by speaker phone, and as is my custom, I addressed him by his first name while introducing myself.

I could hear him take me off of speaker phone, and then he asked me with a metallic tone in his voice, "We don't know each other, do we?"

Right here I know what's coming. I've seen it before in these high-and-mighty types. Dude thinks he's the effin' Queen of England. Doesn't want to be addressed in the informal. *sigh*

"No, sir." I replied.

"Then I'd appreciate it if you didn't call me by my first name."

At this point I know the guy's an ass, and I can be one snarky c*cksucker, so I shoot back with, "OK, [first name] I can call you by your last name if it makes you feel better."

Without realizing the open handed verbal slap I had given him (essentially undermining his 'masculine' protocol of formality by calling out his sensitivity) he answered with a curt "Yes it would."

Guys like this make me laugh, but I can see their point. In business calling each other by first names implies a familiarity that I have often times not established at my initial contact. It's a little old school, and this is a tech business that doesn't adhere to that protocol, but I can see where he is coming from. Still, I love to toy with f*ckers like this, if for no other reason than they allow me to.